(no subject)

[strange_aeons]

I just recieved this email.

(Don't click there. I include the link only for completeness. Remember the nipple? When I say 'don't click', I'm not fucking around.)

Hello my name is Egrid

I live in Russia and I am looking to get out, as I have no future here.
I have no good work here, and for me, all the men here drink a lot
or do not treat women good.

I am looking for a man who works hard and is nice to be with me in all ways.
I am joining this internet club at our internet coffee house to
find a man who wants to meet a nice girl and I can be special for him.

Please sign-up, and look for my name online so that we can meet.
You can post an Ad for FREE and browse pictures of many nice Russian
Girls looking to come to America and meet a nice man, like myself.

I hope to meet you soon. Wish me luck.

Click Here



harv

Comments

[brooksmoses]

Ah, yes. But the nipple was traumatic. This wasn't, as much -- you do realize that the photo is randomly selected, so that the one that you must have seen that traumatized you so is probably not the one we saw?

On the other hand, in their "Why marry a Russian woman" page, there are some ... quotes that speak for themselves. Like: "American women can have attitudes that are difficult to deal with. They are often demanding and hard to please. Russian women on the other hand are so unspoiled." And so forth and so on, and so on.

Le sigh. Can one get an engraved plaque attached to the trophy wives, too, explaining how one was the second-place runner-up in the bowling game of life?

- Brooks

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

But the nipple was traumatic.

How do you even know that? I told you not to follow the link! God, none of you people listen to me! It's like keeps and his G (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=keeps&itemid=14262)!

This wasn't, as much -- you do realize that the photo is randomly selected, so that the one that you must have seen that traumatized you so is probably not the one we saw?

Yeah. But there was the possibility. Also, Keeps got spam from these people a couple of months ago and wasted a week trying to manipulate the scores before he realized it was fixed -- fixed! outrage! if you can't trust spammers to be honest with you, who can you trust, I ask you! -- and if I can save one person from that fate, well, my life will have had a purpose.

On the other hand, in their "Why marry a Russian woman" page, there are some ... quotes that speak for themselves.

Yeah. Those are real winners. I'm morbidly fascinated by the men, who I'm beginning to suspect are fake. Or liars. Not one of them has been less than 170cm tall, which, by my calculations, is ... seven feet, one inch. Okay, I can't do math. By this thing (http://convert.french-property.co.uk/)'s calculations, it's five foot six or seven, which is actually not so tall. Never mind. However, William in Italy creeps me out:

[I am] sweet,kind but severe when necessary

And there's Christopher in the US who is just puzzling:

[I want] Someone much like myself who knows how to have a good time and appreciates life.

Dude, how are we supposed to know what constitutes 'like yourself'? All we know about you is that you're Catholic, work in computers, and are 'appreciative of all people'. And of the fine art of malapropism, apparently.

I've wandered a little. Well, it's nearly five in the morning, at least I haven't slipped into ASCII IPA. One more thing that gave me pause, this one in the original email:

Hello my name is Egrid

[...] I am joining this internet club at our internet coffee house to find a man who wants to meet a nice girl and I can be special for him.

And yet, inexplicably, partway through the message:

[...] a nice man, like myself. [...]

harv

I might find that sort of thing appealing, but I'm willing to bet that most of the other people the letter was blind copied to don't. Then again, I've gotten two emails today inquiring as to whether I have pornography hidden on my computer, which is ridiculous. These people clearly make no attempt to target their advertising. The porn is not hidden. It's just misplaced.

[brooksmoses]

And you are, of course, not thinking at all of pink elephants right now, eh? Certainly not pink six-legged elephants with mauve ears and gold-and-silver saddles woven as persian rugs, with pixies dancing jigs on their heads, and carrying discarded Christmas trees away in their trunks up a crystal staircase to the moon, right?

In answer to your comment:

And yet, inexplicably, partway through the message:

[...] a nice man, like myself. [...]

harv

one notes that it's really not as bad as that excerpt makes it. Consider that it's

nice Russian Girls looking to come to America and meet a nice man, like myself....

and that the "like myself" was probably intended to apply to the "nice Russian Girls[sic capitalization]". I'd say that this is more likely to be a case of really bad writing ability, not of the author forgetting their gender in the middle, sadly.

The "harv", of course, is completely inexplicable.

- Brooks

[kiya]

Affectionately regarded invisible six-foot tall rabbits explain it entirely.