strange_aeons: (SUBMIT TO MY LOVE)
I suspected at the time that I was creating this tag more or less entirely for [personal profile] brooksmoses. It's good to be right.

[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "I rule."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "Not that non-sequitors are odd here, but why are you commenting that you produce straight even lines?"
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "Brooks. Punning is a sin."
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "Also, I'll choke you."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "Oh, dear."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "You do know I'm not into that, yes?"
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "That's why it's a threat and not a reassurance."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "Right. I was afraid of that."
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "Note to self: get into situation in which it is appropriate to say in soothing tones, 'Relax, I'll choke you'. Award self points."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "I'm also not into chocolate cake. A delicious chocolate cake delivered to my door would terrify and distress me greatly, and I would be very upset about it. --Hah!"
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "I don't really bake, so we're going to have to go with asphyxia, which I am quite good at."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "Darn."
[personal profile] brooksmoses says, "Also, now I want cake. Double darn."
[personal profile] strange_aeons says, "You see where punning gets you."
strange_aeons: (follow the leader)
Admit it: you were wondering.

(I have removed the digressions for the sake of clarity and length, though I left in the one with [ profile] lstone because it contributes to the atmosphere; I also moved a couple of lines around for the same reason.)

[ profile] oneironaut says, "FINALLY someone is here to FIX THE FUCKING WASHING MACHINE."
[ profile] lilairen looks for the obvious agitation joke but fails to find it with good timing.
[ profile] oneironaut laughs anyway.
[ profile] brooksmoses says, "There's the other obvious joke, about how if it's fucking, it probably is a good idea to get it fixed before you've got a litter of baby washing machines on your hands."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Then I'd never have to share. ... breed faster, home appliance!"
[ profile] lilairen says, "Depends on whether it's fucking in a procreative fashion, too."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Well, the only other appliance convenient to it is the dryer. Does it belong to a different species, or are they members of the same extremely sexually dimorphic species?"
[ profile] lilairen says, "That's a good question, really. I can see arguments made either way."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "If it's the latter, that raises questions about toilets and bidets."
[ profile] lilairen says, "And then there are those washer-dryer-single-unit-closet-things, which suggest either a speciation point, a mule-type hybrid, or, uh, a third thing that fell out of my head when I got this far into the sentence."
[ profile] brooksmoses says, "Hermaphrodite."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Or a hermaphrodite, or something like the supermales you get in some species of fish."
[ profile] lilairen says, "Thank you."
[ profile] brooksmoses says, "[ profile] tiger_spot says that she thinks they're probably cooperative species, like humans and wolves, or whatnot. The fact that they are often seen in washer-dryer pairs but don't appear to breed argues against sexually-dimorphic members of the same species."
[ profile] brooksmoses says, "I am wondering if maybe they're symbiotes of a sort where occasionally one gets a parasitic form where the dryer gets fused into the washer."
First taste is free, now you have to click. )
strange_aeons: (steamy)
For some reason, [ profile] lstone is reading Twilight. This makes me unspeakably happy.

[ profile] lstone says, "...I can't believe I'm only halfway through this book."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "This is the greatest thing ever."
[ profile] lstone says, "You suck."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "I'm too entertained to care."
[ profile] lstone says, "I'm not even giving you details about my saga and you're enjoying it."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "I know just enough about the book to build in my mind an elaborate fantasy of your suffering."
[ profile] lstone says, "Here, let me type out an example for you."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "How will you get through it without your keyboard shorting out from your quiet but continuous weeping?"
[ profile] lstone says, "'He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me.' If that's less objectionable than you expected, realize that this is page 250 of basically nothing but this."
Vinci the Magnificent says, "That's...amazing."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Either I've seen that passage before, or I've seen another passage just like it. These possibilities seem equally likely."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "This is going on my livejournal so hard."
[ profile] lstone says, "You suck so hard."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Your point?"
[ profile] lstone says, "I'm going to mail you this book. I'm certain that having it in your home will cause you to read at least some of it."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "I'm strong!"
Vinci the Magnificent says, "The book's patient."
strange_aeons: (snow)
I have written -450 words since my last update on the subject. At this point a blank screen rewrite is incredibly dangerous, because if I'm not careful I'll wind up rewriting the same five hundred words until I'm too senile to remember where I was planning to go anyway, but I'm orders of magnitude happier with what I have now than with what I had then. I'm not sure even I would have kept reading. I have a better handle now on everything -- universe, characters, mechanics of what's happening in this scene -- and have figured out how to open with a scene in which, while what is going on is bizarre, the perspective character has done it a million times and finds it fairly boring, without instantly crashing and burning. (He'll start to find it more interesting when literal people with guns literally jump in through the window and shoot the place up. I'm concerned I'll create a delete-your-first-chapter problem, but this is only going to go on for another thousand words or so, and it contains a lot of information that would be impossible to deliver in an action scene and which the action scene would be uninterpretable without. And the delete-your-first-chapter problem is not one of my issues, in general. And I'm not defensive, so stop looking at me like that.)

The upshot is that the 502 words I have now -- squeezed out in fits and starts since last Saturday; I don't think the daily update thing is going to work for me anymore, given the state of my life -- are impossible to read. There's too much worldbuilding in too small a space, mostly delivered in the form of parenthetic phrases, such that by the time the end of the sentence arrives the reader has forgotten what the beginning was about. Also, the adjectives and adverbs are packed too closely together, and on my workaday prose, that doesn't feel lush, it feels purple. This bit will probably grow 50%-100% in revision. Terrifying. Still, much better.

Also, I have written possibly my most confusing-out-of-context sentence ever.

Scent of Water was approaching Wakefield, trailed by the other four members of its menage in ascending order of their ability to quickly disentangle themselves from its personality; Fiveness had hardly budged, but Nostalgia was practically on Water's heels.

Put that in your brain and smoke it.

The way the character dynamics are working out in this thing, it may very well fail the Bechdel Test, the Ledhceb Test and what I just named the Bedlech test via a completely random and innocent scrambling of letters, success conditions for which are:

  1. It must contain at least two male and/or female characters

  2. Who talk to each other

  3. About something other than a nongendered or genderqueer entity

I'm cheating, of course. As someone points out in the thread I linked to, the Bechdel test ceases to function in the presence of such characters. Nishimura seems to be the only one with a romantic subplot coupon -- Wakefield appears pretty much asexual and may be a virgin -- and is probably going to redeem it with the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter, which would mean passing the Bedchel Test at least, but at this point I don't think the Mad Scientist or Nishimura's friend the male-identified revolting monster have anything to say to either each other or Wakefield that isn't about one of aforesaid women or one of several sexless creatures.

In other news, I am not to be trifled with while I'm recovering from a Ren Faire drunk:

[ profile] oneironaut says, "Hmm. Cladistically speaking, birds are reptiles. I've never eaten one of your conventional scaly reptiles as far as I can recall, but when people talk about reptile meat I always get the impression that it's somehow different from mammal meat. Yet your grouse, a reptile, tastes like venison."
[ profile] oneironaut says, "Conclusion: deer are reptiles."
Vinci the Magnificent says, "You're distracting me from my horrible movie, and making the roommate choke on her ice cream."