(no subject)

[strange_aeons]

When I was eleven or twelve, I was sitting in my room, at my desk, and noticed a scratching noise emanating from the ceiling. I mentioned it to my parents. They told me it was probably just the house settling.

Time passed. I noticed the scratching noise again, on numerous occasions. Sometimes it sounded more like buzzing. I mentioned it to my parents on slightly-less-numerous occasions, and each time was assured that it was just house noises, or that I was imagining things.

Then the ceiling directly above the center of my bed began to sag. This time they told me it was European yellowjackets eating through the drywall.

So, I really don't like Europeans. I mean yellowjackets. I have no special phobia about them, they just piss me off.

Now we've got them coming into the house in droves, and I suspect it's because they've built a nest in the roof; there's no other reason for them to be coming in here — not for warmth, and it occurs to me that I have no idea what yellowjackets eat, but I doubt the interior of the house smells of it. The landlord's going to drop by and take a look, and if he doesn't do something about it I'm going to nail him to the wall with a trowel and eat his liver while he watches.

Incidentally, I cornered my mother a year or so ago and made her apologize. She was amused.

Comments

[kiya]

Shortly after my parents bought the house in which my father currently lives, it was determined that there was a nest of yellowjackets in the walls. Possibly several. Or they may have been wasps.

This was one of a long list of things that provoked the reaction, in a faintly weary-but-amused tone of voice, "Ah. I wonder if that's why they sold the house."

I see you've been studying Awhina.

[keeps.livejournal.com]

They really like raw meat and old Coke. Not that your house smells like raw meat or anything; I know the dogs are trained to eat dirt. Also, if you damage one or step on it or something, it releases pheromones that cause any others nearby to come to its rescue.

A nest is more likely than anything else just for the numbers, though.

(Also, yellowjackets are wasps.)

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

No, our house smells like spoiled meat. I wasn't sure if the pheromone thing was just bees.

(Also, yellowjackets are wasps.)

Why must you turn this into a house of lies?

There's a giant entomological taxonomy-shaped hole in my immense, world-spanning and pointless erudition, right next to the physics-shaped one.

[keeps.livejournal.com]

They like spoiled meat too. And cooked. They aren't picky eaters, but they are carnivorous.

...world-spanning and pointless erudition...

Good thing I can fill both of them. So to speak. With no details or proper names. We're a team!

[tiassa]

A couple of wasps ruined a perfectly good roast-beef sandwich that I was trying to eat in the park last month. Some things are just unforgiveable.

[keeps.livejournal.com]

They didn't ruin it, you're just too picky. Wasps are full of love and protein. You just need to bite them fast so they don't sting your tongue.

I once saw someone grab a honey bee (I think that's what it was), shake it really hard to disorient it and throw it out the door (it had been terrorizing the inside of the bus - or, rather, the two girls sitting right next to it) without getting stung.

[tiassa]

Nuh-uh. They ruined it. They descended upon my sandwich and carefully removed little round sections of the roast beef.